So it has been about a month since my last blog and I have kept wanting to come on and work on it but allowed other things to become obstacles.

I will quickly say that I have begun facilitating an in-home study group based on Wayne Dyers' The Power of Intention.  I have a great group of loving people from all walks of life (except there is not one straight man!!!). 

I have also become a vegetarian since my last blog and I feel gret.  I feel great not necessarily physically because I do not notice a difference (doesnt mean there isnt any).  What I do feel is that as time goes on, the energy that radiates in me gets stronger.  When I hold someone's hands to pray, I can feel my energy being passed on to them and they feel it too.  Its truly amazing.  Especially for me who loves prayer.  I have also learned more on my personal strengths and perserverance.  For a meat eater like myself, everyone thought it would be a difficult task but it hasn't been bad at all.  It is a true motivator in other parts of my life to see that I can do what seemed impossible at first.

I became veg for compassionate reasons.  I was reading WIE's artcicle with Swimme, a kosmotologist? and evolutionary?  He talks about the next evolution in man needs to be a conscious compassion for not just humans but for our brothers and sisters the animals and our father mother earth.  I am taking steps to do just that.  It's exciting stuff to be able to know that I am creating more alignment with Spirit in the realm of race consciousness.

WOOHOO!

Aside from that doing a lot of reading.  Reading "Finiding the Boyfriend Within" and seeing what comes of it. I know I am not ready for a relationship just yet but I can tell its brewing.  Here goes!

Anyway, glad to be back.  I will be blogging again so keep coming back...and I mean it mostly for myself.  I love to use the blog as an inventory of what is go ing on in my life and how much of it is aligned to my TRUTH.

Ooooh and later on I will tell you/myself about what the Tarot card reader said.

Love in service,

Juan

As part of my week's work from The Power of Intention, I am asked to write a gratitude list and go over it every morning and every night for this week.  I am using the blog as the place to put it down.

Below are things I thank you for Mother/Father God.  Blessings are all around me and I thank you for the understanding and wisdom that allows me to see them.  Thank you for continuing to bless me and guide me from blessing to greater blessing.

My Gratitude List

I am thankful for my friends and family
I am thankful for my apartment especially my big room
I am thankful for my Adventure in Faith group
I am thankful for my 4T Prayer Circle
I am thankful for Mimi, the beautiful dog I babysit for my friend Adriana
I am thankful for my loving dear friends who I cherish
I am thankful for my job which allows me to pursue my purpose in life
I am thankful that my life purpose is unfolding
I am thankful for my laptop
I am thankful for the money I make
I am thankful for the people I have met through my job
I am thankful for my books and the fact that I like to read
I am thankful for Zaadz
I am thankful for knowing I am experiencing my own conscious evolution
I am thankful for the boyfriends I have loved
I am thankful for the boyfriends who have loved me
I am thankful for my desire to have a husband and kids
I am thankful for Unity in my life
I am thankful for my high school memories
I am thankful to be smart
I am thankful I am cute
I am thankful for sunny days
I am thankful for rainy days
I am thankful that I love both rainy and sunny days
I am thankful for the beach
I am thankful for water
I am thankful for electricity
I am thankful for being able to pay Gretchen to iron my clothes
I am thankful for my health
I am thankful for my nice teeth
I am thankful that I am caring
I am thankful that I am sweet
I am thankful for my teddy bears
I am thankful that Mimi will sleep in my bed tonight
I am thankful for Thursday night dancing at Studio A
I am thankful that I am going to Unity Village in a few weeks
I am thankful for the knowing that everything will be alright with my license issue
I am thankful that it was only $500 and not $5000
I am thankful to be alive
I am thankful to be gay
I am thankful for my lunch with Michael today
I am thankful for Michaels kind words about my job
I am thankful to know someone like Michael
I am thankful for the kind words of Marcos
I am thankful that God spoke through Marcos and Michael about my job performance
I am thankful for the budget at work I got back
I am thankful for second chances

I am thankful that tomorrow I will be able to add to this list

I am physically tired but spiritually so awake.  I have enjoyed this day.  A day of beauty, a day of purpose, a day full of intention.

I am taking care of my friends beautiful dog Mimi and so I rode my bike with her to a nearby park.  We were there for a few hours.  I read most of the time and also played with Mimi.  Right there, on the grass under the shade of palm trees as I looked to the bay right in front of me with Miami Beach on the other side of beautiful blue ocean.

I remember having a moment of being the observer.  Observing myself observing the world.  It was interesting.  I was short but deep.  I was reading Wayne Dyer's power of intention and at one point it asked to bask in the beauty that surrounded me.  What a perfect spot for it, huh?  And to think this is MY life.  My life is the one that has such beauty and such purpose.  My life - through the grace of Spirit.

Then I went with my friend where we were adding beauty to a the office of our senior minister.  It looked great at the end of a two day renovation project.  Thank you God for friends. 

Now I am home listening to the new India Arie CD and it makes my heart just feel soulful and expansive.  All of this gives me additional things that I have known to always been thankful for, sometimes unconsciously.

I am thankful for music.
I am thankful for smiles.
I am thankful for beauty.
I am thankful for my desire to serve.
I am thankful for greatness.
I am thankful for meekness.
I am thankful for birds chirping.
I am thankful for conscious music that enriches my soul.
I am thankful for forgiveness.
I am thankful for prayer.
I am thankful for my office with windows and the great AC.
I am thankful for DVDs.
I am thankful for India Arie.
I am thankful for ABBA.
I am thankful for laughing.
I am thankful for my feelings.
I am thankful to be thankful.
I am thankful for a good date tomorrow.
I am thankful for cute boys.
I am thankful for intelligence in this world.
I am thankful for intention.

You know, its not like I always set out to only blog on my happiness but it is just that I love my life so much and I am so grateful for it.  All things just seem to fall into place.  At times I am a bit confused with the way Spirit is directing my life but then it all becomes clear and how could I not be so joyous!

When I was thinking about this blog I thought I would write "I wish everyone was this happy" and then I thought, "well isnt everyone so happy deep down inside but they just don't realize it?"  But this was my next thought - which I love - "Why must I give in to the race consciousness idea that the world does not realize how happy it is?"

Yes, I know a few minutes ago I read something on poverty and then a few hours ago I read something about a rape..but that was not now, that we the past.  Why must I believe the past is right here right now in the present.  So I do not give into race consciousness that wants to have me believe there are things that are not of Spirit or things that happen as a result of not realizing our own potential because RIGHT NOW, I KNOW there is only happiness in this world and peace reigns supreme.  How fabulous! (Yes I used fabulous, its the gay gene talking)

So besides all those wonderful things I am grateful for, I will be visiting Kansas City at the end of the month.  I will be there for a week taking some classes on Metaphysics.  Actually I will be taking only three of the possible four classes.  The fist period I could only choose from classes I have already taken so I will use that time to enjoy the library started by the Fillmores, walk along the campus that has hosted so many enlightened individuals and just take in the experience of being in such a peaceful place.  I cannot wait!

My other three classes will be: Background of New Thought and Unity (or maybe Twelve Powers), Jesus Christ Heals and Meditation Practices B. 

Anyway, love love love.  I am happy.

Anyways my dear Zaadzters...enjoy the joy of being here.  I know you do.

So this must be a first.  I am not exactly ecstatic as I write this blog.

It is 4 am in Miami right now.  I just came back from a friend of the family's wedding.  She is more like a cousin to me and the first of the group and my age group to get married.  It was a beautiful wedding and during it I told my mother I wanted one just like it.  And I do.  I want a wedding where everyone celebrate love.  Everyone celebrates their relationships with family and friends.  I was on a high but then I allowed some issues with my sister get me down.

When I got home I listening to VH1 and the song "Goodbye my lover" from James Blunt came on.  I have listened to that song a million and one times even before it became a single.  Then I realized myself feeling a little sad.  A littled sad asking where my great love would come.  Interesting to think that although I can ask for it, it would be even selfish to think it HAS TO BE rather than being detached from it. 

It is interesting that I can accept the paradox of god being personal and impersonal at the same time but it is very hard for me to understand that although I am sad in this present moment over my feelings of desiring a lover, I can still be happy.  So being BOTH sad and happy are allowed.  It is a paradox - I have accepted many others, why cannot I accept this one.

Well Universe, I tell you now - I want a boyfriend.  I want someone to cuddle with.  I want someone to kiss and someone to touch.  I want someone to roll over in the morning and spoon me.  I want to be able to look ito someone's eyes and say "I love you and am so happy I will spend the rest of my life with you" withoug saying a word.  I want all of what an intimate relationship entails. And because I do not have it at this moment, I am feeling a little low.  And I am allowing myself to feel that - yes, it will come to me but right now I want to be ok with feeling sad that it isnt already here.

My relationship with my sister also has me puzzled.  One the one side, I feel like she does not come through with her word and that I would normally not have friends like that.. On the other hand, I wonder if I am holding her to a higher standard than i do others.  Either way, I feel like my ssiter and I need a break.

This week at Unity Village is just what the doctor ordered.  keep me in your prayers and much love.

So I am at Unity Village now and today has just been a fabulous day.

It started with my beautiful flights.  One into Atlanta and then to Kansas City.  I read most of the time on the first flight.  Truly, it was a beautiful experience.  I was reading "Jesus Christ Heals" and it is a great great book.  When we took off from Ft. Lauderdale, I looked out the window and cried.  Such beauty on this earth.  To think that we have co-created such a wonderful place.  I should concrentrate more on that then how "awful" it can be.  Just remember that it is a wonderful place and naturally I will be aligned with its beauty and do things only to enhance it rather than diminish it.  I am glad I took the step of being a vegetarian.

My next flight was supposed to be lots of reading also but I sat on the plane next to a wonderful guy.  He was cute, intelligent, funny and very open.  He was also gushing over his son and his wife.  It was nice to talk to him for those two and a half hours.  I felt I had met a friend from another part of the spectrum from what I normally meet as to lifestyle.  We exchanged numbers.  He was flying from Atlanta where he was in a conference to Kansas City for another conference.  He lives in Hamilton, Ontario Canada.  We talked about the possibility of getting dinner one of these nights.  Who knows?  I hope so but if anything, I would like to keep in touch with him through email.

Then we got to Unity Village.  I am sharing this experience with my friend Sonia.  It is great to have her here with me to discuss our love of Unity and the energy we receive from it (and give back).  Truly this is a beautiful campus with lots of loving, wonderful, vibrant energy.  The people are great also.  Actually when I got to Kansas City and we were on our way to the village, I cried again.  I was just in the love that was Unity and being at its birthplace.  Then I cried a little at Unity Village.  Haha.  All tears of joy though.

We walked around and went to the bookstore and bought some things here and there.  We realized we did not have our cameras - we forgot them in Florida!  We asked the bookstore if they had any and they did not.  The wonderful lady working there, Kathleen, told us she was off at 7 and she would take us into town to get some if we wanted. What a beautiful woman!  She also said that after hearing me talk, she knew I would be a good minister and spread the Unity movement.  She never even asked me if it was my intention to be a minister!!!

Then we had dinner and met some great people.  There is a couple from San Fran, a guy from New York (ex dancer - cute smile), someone from South Florida, a few from other parts.  I got to talk to a lot of them - the ex dancer, Ken and Sonia, made reference to me being a social butterfly.  Really it is just because I am in joy of being in the presence of people who have made a conscious decision to say YES to God. 

They had a service tonight.  Really pretty.  The music was great.  Three ladies sang (someone called them our own Dixie Chicks).  Then a ministerial school student gave a small talk.  I approached everyone to thank them for it.  I told one of the singers that I felt like I knew them for a long time, that they all seemed so open.  She said she felt the same thing from me as soon as she saw me.  Beautiful!

Funny, I could go on and on but I wont.  Just interesting to mention though that most people I have met somehow or another know of Unity on the Bay.  I mean to tell you how funny the connections are...as we were walking back to the Unity Cottages I saw a woman walking by herself so I introduced myself and we began talking about Unity.  I asked her where she was from and she said New Hampshire.  I mentioned I was from Unity ont he Bay.  She said she had heard of it from someone...before she could finish I asked if it was Jim Labrie (he is a congregant at UOTB I had the pleasure of meeting and I know he goes lives someo of the time in NH).  Anyway, it was him.  She actually learned of UOTB from Jim's secretary up there.  What a small world.

Anyway, Sonia is falling asleep (its only 8:48 PM - not sure why she is so tired..im wired) and there are still a lot of books I need to read for classes tomorrow.

Thank you all for reading this.  I know with every word you read, you are sending me love and I return it to you joyfully.

So last night I must have gotten to bed at like 10 pm.  I had very vivid dreams and I think its just the energy that is here at Unity.  We woke up at 530 am so we could be at the morning meditation at 630 in the Fillmore Chapel.  Then we had breakfast and first period began.

Since I am not taking a first period class, I went to the library and then to the archives.  In the library I looked up the Daily Word for the day I was born and it was KINDNESS.  A lot of joy rushed through my body for I know that if there is one thing I embody is KINDNESS.   It was nice getting that affirmation.

Then I went to the archives where just being surrounded by all those books and memories of the Fillmores and the movement made me cry.  I was crying all over the place just realizing that YES i am in the cradle of a movement that I think is instrumental in allowing for the human consciousness to evolve.  I got to see both Myrtle and Charles' offices.  I actually was even able to reserve Charles' office so I could sit and work in it from 8 to 830 am tomorrow morning.  I cannot wait.  Truly.

My first class was 12 powers and what I can say is that the facilitator is a sweet sweet man.

more tomorrow my roommate is waking.

So I didnt even get a chance to journal on this thing all day.  Of course I am journaling for two classes.  One of the journals is for the 12 powers of man and its really just about how i have come to understand the powers.  The book is great although somewhat antiquated.  I love the fact that at Unity, we can discuss how we disagree with our co-founder and its perfectly accepted and in some cases, agreed with. 

the other journal is for the mediation class.  I am enjoying that class for many reasons but mainly it is just a nice relaxing time after a long day of thinking.

In the morning today I used Charles Fillmore's office to do some of my reading.  The energy was amazing.  I felt like I was understanding everything he wrote in the chapters I was reading.  Thank you God for that experience.  Tomorrow I hope to be able to get into Myrtle Fillmore's office.  Me and my new friend Kris are going to try to see if we get special permission to do it.

My Jesus Christ Heals class is going well.  I am enjoying the open discussions even though I feel some people would rather not go through it.  Kris' husband, Keith, is in their with me and between the two of us we keep everyone on their toes.  I like them a lot.  Keith is calling me son now.  He looks like a cuter Richard Gere and Kris is very pretty herself.  They both have been Unity students for awhile.  I really enjoy the enthusiasm with which Keith shares his knowledge and understanding.  I think we are on the same page as to what we want to get out of the classes.

Tonight I did my homework not in my room but in the rec room.  Afterwards, while I was walking to my room with Sonia, we saw dear just a few feet away.  Just another expression of hte law of attraction here at Unity.  Even the animals want to be near this place.  I told my mom to start preparing herself in case i move here.  It would be nice.  We will see what Spirit has in store for me.

Another thing we manifested here was a camera.  Both Sonia and I forgot ours and so after we werent able to buy one here, Sonia said - just wait and see how we manifested.  So yesterday I mention to Glen and Mara from UOTB who are here to graduate into the SEE C Program, that if they could to please pass by and buy us one on their way to where they are staying (outside of Unity Village).  Mara responded by letting me borrow hers for the week seeing as how they have been here before.  I have taken amazing pictures.  Everything here just looks so pretty and bright and crisp.

Well anyway, I think we have had enough of this.  I will let you go with the last remaining thought - I went to a meeting of LUT candidates and possible ministerial school candidates and I was really drawn to ministerial school.  Again someone mentioned they saw me as a good one today.  Not my will but God's will.

AMEN.